Another excerpt from the Everything Sucks vaults. #4, The Twist. Available free HERE. Enjoy.
“How’s my favorite ape today?” asked Jon as Al parked his freakishly hairy ass on the couch (not that Jon had ever seen his ass, he was just guessing based on the parts he could see; “ape” was not a randomly chosen monicker in this case.)
Al grunted. “Both my kids are teenagers and my dog’s got a weird blister thing on his ass that needs ointment twice a day, what do you think?”
Jon shrugged. “Sell ‘em all.”
The hollow chested laugh of a long time smoker rolled out of Al’s mouth. “Find me a buyer!”
“Speaking of buying . . .”
Al leaned forward and rubbed his meaty hands together. “Okay, shop talk. Let’s hear it.”
Jon leaned back, drummed his pen on the chosen script, and chewed the corner of his lower lip. He’d been looking forward to this all week. He wanted to savor the moment.
“Well? Spit it out!” Al yelled. He hated suspense.
“You’re gonna love this.” said Jon, teasingly.
“Can’t love it till I hear it!”
The grin grew to face-eating proportions. “What do you think of when I say . . .” (one last pause for effect) “Detective Hank and the Black Widow?”
“No fuckin’ way!” Al leapt off the couch, throwing hands in the air as he rose.
Jon savored his golden moment.
Al gushed on. “Oh man, I ate those books for breakfast, lunch, and dinner when I was . . . oh, musta been about fourteen or fifteen. Oh, wow, I am old!”
Jon threw back his head and let out the triumphant hollar he’d been waiting all day to enjoy. “I knew I had you figured right! Man, Haggerty was king of the pulps, wasn’t he?”
Al nodded. “Damn right! Martin J. Haggerty was tops, no one else came close. Shit, I can’t believe someone in 19 friggin’ 81 wrote a Detective Hank movie!”
“I know!” Jon shouted, unable to suppress the slobbering fanboy within.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Comedy, creative writing, filmmaking, Hollywood, humor, humour, indie publishing, movie making, movies, Nostalgia, pulp novels, reading, The '50s, the 80s, writing
